The Goblin The Witch and The Neckbeard
by noxumbre
Summary: Beast Boy and Cyborg got a new game a few days ago and have been playing it relentlessly whenever they get in from missions, Cyborg calls it for the night going to bed and Beast Boy decides to keep playing. Raven gets drawn into playing with him and Control Freak traps the two of them in the game.


Nevermore is a quaint place, cold and desolate with large gaps between floating plateaus and endless galaxies to stare off into. Distant from other living things a great place to tune out and recharge for an empath.

Raven floats in place whispering the three sacred words. "Azarath... metrion… zinthos" within her chest is a pounding, something familiar she's been fighting it her whole life. Her father calling her to darkness… "Azarath metrion, zinthos" her voice quickens as her face strains.

The beating of her heart grows stronger and faster, leading to a groaning pain in her guts. Now her physical form echoes

Her spirit "Azarath metrion, zinthos". Her eyes clench and she grabs her sheets before jerking up awake. A few ragged breaths and she returns to her usual China doll expression. The empath glances to the godfather clock seeing it's 2 in the morning, Raven groans and glides from her bed throwing on a cloak. She gets out a box of teas from her study after she caught Silkie eating her expensive teas she's taken to keeping the good stuff locked in her drawers picking out a bitter mix of herbs and tropic flowers. It floats over into her hand and she wraps the string around her finger then floats out of the room towards the main area.

As Raven approaches she feels mighty vibrations even 2ft in the air.

The door opens to a painful pale light overpowering the otherwise pleasant hues of blue in the dark. She sees the silhouette

Beast Boy sitting in front of the couch, controller in hand. He flicks his head round like a yapping puppy

"What's up Rea!"

Raven blinks and responds "shouldn't you be in bed"

"Pot calling the kettle black Rea-rea"

Raven rolls her eyes walking to the kitchen, she stares at the screen well waiting for the water boil; was Beast Boy still playing that game from when they got in? Even without aura sensing powers he can tell she's watching and he says

"You wanna play? Cyborg normally does the heavy lifting on DPS but he's gone bed" he says trailing into a bored and dejected tone.

Raven closes her eyes weighing the options. Play the stupid game, possibly be better than he is annoying him further, or being so bad he never asks her to play again. Or just return to her chamber and curl up with a book.

The squeal of the kettle tells her to make a choice and she walks off her exit accompanied by Garfield pleading "Raaaaven!"

Back in her room she guides her finger across the shelves looking for a good book read and it snags an empty spot with a note

"Greetings friend Raven I am sorry to of just taken it but well we were out you mentioned a story by this writer and I wanted to try to sample traditional Earth literature. - your most gratuitous mbor'farg Starfire" Very well. She kneels down to look for her copy of Faust and finds another note "there's been a series of break-ins and kidnapping in Blüdhaven, a witness says the perp said something that's a quote from this book, I need to parse a copy for clues" the note is signed with an R in a circle.

Raven sips her tea and walks through a black portal.

She sits next to Beast Boy

"Robin will have a drill in the morning"

"Totally"

"And you're not sleeping til you beat this...boss"

"Yep," Beast Boy says as the screen flashes red and his eye starts to twitch.

Raven pulls a controller to her telekinetically and hits start.

"Won't I be underleveled?"

"This game doesn't work like that, levels just unlock more abilities and stats don't go higher than 10"

"Okay"

The screen splits in two; locked out is the goblin engineer and in the background a human warrior named Stone. Raven moves the selector to the shadow weaver

"Mage of the night!" The game yells as she hits X.

"I thought you'd of played the Druid"

"I do the animal thing all day I want a change"

"So you play the little green man making annoying sounds," she says with a smirk

"And you're a Mage in hood with lots of feathers"

"Go with what you know," she says pulling her tea to her face with her powers;

The two go through the dungeon Beast Boy hits things with meticulous efficiency cutting milliseconds by taking the best paths and activating and destroying enemies before they can react from around corners

"How many times have you tried doing this area."

Beast Boy just stares at the screen "not important"

They get to a central battle room and then one enemy a large knight wielding a battle axe taunts them and then gains a health bar and name Beast Boy rolled back his head scratching on the zip of the couch cushion "ugh this guy, he takes like no damage from any of my contraptions or Cy's abilities and crunches our health so easy"

"So if they're resistant to physical damage maybe magic will do the business."

Raven's character tosses a circle on the ground applying slow to all the enemies pinning the knight in place well Beast Boy surrounds the spawners in autoblaster canons that melt the adds.

"damn you are doing nice, mama!" he says building powderpoppers and charging them to explode on the boss.

Finally, they fall and Beast Boy jumps out his seat "aww yeah raven! Nice one momma!"

Raven tilts her cup finding it empty and goes to try and head to bed. But finds the controller refused to drop.

"Did you glue this to my hands again?"

"No!"

The screen glitches and a ginger neckbeard appears

"Hello, Titans!"

"What do you want control freak?!"

"Well I wanted to have some fun but then you went and ruined that"

The controllers stings in their hands and electricity surges through them everything shifts to black.

Raven bats her eyes waking up and rubs her face. She looks to her side and sees a small green man lying face down in the dirt and she shakes them awake.

A knight rides up "hail, vagabondage is a crime under good king crl'eak! State your business for loitering the roads!"

Raven stares up at the knight and says "we've just woken up, we don't know how we got here"

The knight's voice takes a tone "a likely story crone." They then turn to Beast Boy. "And you goblin?"

"Same story dude. And don't call her a crone!"

The knight puts their hand to their lance "stay your tongue greenskin, I'm under no oath to take lip from peasantry"

Raven glared from out her hood, feeling a velvet-like substance emanate, wrapping around her legs and swell in her hands. she flutters her fingers letting the orbs of darkness shift.

The knight and Beast Boy continue to built animosity the knight aims the lance to Garfield's snout. Beast Boy starts to growl and charges on all fours. The knight looks down

"Has the devil bewitched you!" and goes to plunge the lance through the good goblin's head, however, a shard of shadow snags the weapon and pulls it and the knight down from their horse.

Raven says to Beast Boy "regret not picking druid now?"

"A little bit."

The knight dusts themself off and draws their sword "Assault on the nobility and Witchcraft! I'll see you both cut down"

Beast Boy blocks the blade with the claw of his engineering hammer and holds it locked he sticks his tongue out mocking the knight, Raven uses the distraction to blast them a bolt of darkness

"Beast Boy get out a barrel!" she shouts tossing a dark purple ring that expands and falls into the earth making a area of darkness trapping the knight's feet like a plagued mire's mud. Beast Boy gets out an exploding barrel and tosses it to the knight blasting them against a tree unconscious.

A voice rings in both their ears "TRIUMPH! AND TO THE VICTORS THE SPOILS!" they both see a menu in their vision showing off the loot they gained from the battle.

"Well, Rea why don't you take the mount and I take the armour?"

"Makes sense, I have my eye on the +50 mana ring and do you want the dexterity one?"

"Sounds good"

After they decide how to divide the loot the menus close and they both feel the new equipment in their inventory and their coin purses got heavier as well.

Beast Boy falls over from the sudden weight of the arm; The knight's steed walks to Raven and ducks it's head in reverence to their new master.

Raven flays out her fingers and tips to her heels to levitate and falls forward,

So this doesn't work

She climbs onto the horse the traditional way and digs a map from the saddle bag.

Beast Boy climbs up next to her and looks over her shoulder

"So where we going Rea?"

"Knowing Control Freak, he's going to of made himself the king"

"and probably has programmed all the beautiful and powerful characters to be his consorts" Beast Boy then hops off the horse in front of Raven and says a nasally voice as an impression "oh Y'hentar the quick most prolific assassin in the known worlds I'm so honoured you'd be my bride mwa mwa mwa mwa"

the side of Raven's mouth sticks up as she watches the green fool's antics and taps her hand on the horse's back telling him to return


End file.
